Promise in the Woods
by Royal Reverie
Summary: Roxas gets sent away to a camp that's supposed to "fix" his sexual preference, but what he finds there isn't a cure or a traumatic memory. No, he finds Axel, a soul as lost as him, but Roxas can't help but wonder why his fingers go through Axel like his hands go through air. AkuRoku. Shounen Ai.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, I'd have made AkuRoku canon. Not that it isn't already. But more so. Also, any congruence with this story and to real life is purely coincidental.

**Summary: **Roxas gets sent away to a camp that's supposed to "fix" his sexual preference, but what he finds there isn't a cure or a traumatic memory. No, he finds Axel, a soul as lost as him, but Roxas can't help but wonder why his fingers go through Axel like his hands go through air. _AkuRoku_

Rated T for: language, shounen ai, death, supernatural

**Promise in the Woods**

**Oneshot**

_These people are insane._ Roxas concluded as he stepped off the tastelessly pastel pink bus adorned with childish imitations of daffodils and tulips and what he supposed was the sun. Yeah, these people wanted to "fix" his brain, or "mental instability" as they say, and then they force him onto the gayest bus his homosexual eyes had ever laid on. Great start they had. With a shake of his head and a disapproving grunt, Roxas hauled his duffel bag over his shoulder and trailed after the line of "mentally troubled" boys marching listlessly in front of him.

The aroma of freshly made coffee ravished his nose upon entering the largest log cabin in the area. 6 AM coffee sounded like heaven to the tired blonde. Leaving at 3 in the morning to "make the most of the start of the best month of his life" was the worst experience he had ever had. Never mix three full teaspoons of coffee with an eighth teaspoon of sugar and a creamer. Ever. It tasted bitter as all hell, but he wasn't about to fall asleep on a bus with this lot of horny gay assholes.

Roxas wasn't normally so cynical, but when it came right down to it, he just didn't like having people conscious and awake while he was asleep. Something didn't sit right with him about that. Maybe it was something about manners. Or paranoia. Could be both, he reasoned, but he never cared enough to really debate it.

"Welcome to Camp 13!"

An awkwardly dressed man stood on stage—arms raised in a hug that made Roxas want to run outside and hide in the bus—beaming with excited vigour that should be illegal before 10 AM. The man introduced himself as Xemnas and gave some boisterous speech about the success of his program, which, without much care on Roxas's part, was based on psychology and not on religion. Xemnas skirted around the actual topic of _what_ the "lucky" campers would go through and instead continued to rave about his program.

It was all the same.

Religion or not, everyone thought there was something wrong with him. He couldn't help this attraction. He was born this way. He grew up this way. However you put it, there just wasn't any changing this. Besides, he wasn't attracted to just any guy that shimmied his hips within his gaydar range. No, he had a type just like everyone else.

He liked narrow eyes. Sexy, gorgeous ones that made your heart stop. He liked sweet personalities. The kind that sends "good night :)" texts right before you fall asleep (the smiley face is a must). He liked cute faces. Like the ones that make you warm all over when they send a smile your way and an addicting tingle runs across your skin. Yeah, that kind. And he liked romantics. Adorable ones, the kind that can make sitting-in on a Saturday night watching reruns of Pokemon feel like a date in Paris.

Well, now. He wasn't that different from everyone else was he? All those things sounded reasonably normal enough.

"Hey there, roomie," came a chipper greeting as Roxas stepped into Cabin 8, "I'm no good with top bunks, so I hope you don't mind that I've already gotten settled down here."

Roxas shook his head nonchalantly and tossed his bag to the top bunk, habitually reaching into his pocket for a missing cell phone and cringing when all his fingers grabbed were pieces of lint stuck at the bottom of his pant pocket. A light curse escaped his lips before sparing his roommate a glance. The other boy wasn't kidding when he said he had already gotten settled.

A set of bed sheets different from the camp-issued ones were already perfectly laid out on the twin mattress and a comfortable-looking grey wolf plush sat at the foot of the bed, making Roxas wonder if this wasn't the first time the poor wolf had to sit in a spot exactly like that before.

"Is this your first time being here?" Roxas asked casually, hoping he wasn't stepping on any landmines.

The other boy shook his head, dirty blonde locks barely swaying with the movement. _How much gel did he have to lather on to get his hair to stick the way it did? _"Nah, this is my second time. I was here last summer too." He dropped himself on the bed, a backpack on his lap, and continued as he rummaged through its contents. "See, that's what they do. They have you spend one month here and come back for another month. This way, the newbies, like you," he pointed to Roxas with an illegally kept ipod that escaped the search before bus-boarding, "don't get it on with other horny newbies."

"What makes them think a newbie wouldn't do it with a senior?" Roxas challenged, arms crossed as he took a seat on a chair. "Not that I'm attracted to you. Just that I'm curious."

His roommate laughed as he settled an ear piece just the way he wanted it. "Because once we get cleared with this shithole, our parents and the rest of our narrow-minded society gets off our backs and then we can act as gay as we want and no one would question it."

Roxas raised a brow. "What? How does that even work?"

"See, this place thinks they've got us all figured out." The dirty-blonde boy sifted through his songs. "But in all actuality, we're just using their reputation to our advantage after two months."

"Huh." Roxas contemplated the plan, rolled it over in his mind a few times over before deciding it might be worth it to complete the two months if it means he can get his friends back home to stop thinking that every move he made was a hidden flirtation device to get in their virginal male pants. "Sounds easy enough."

His comment was met with a loud huff and scoff. "Just wait until you actually have to go through the things they do here."

Before Roxas could get in another question, his roommate stuffed the second ear piece into his ear and laid down, closing his eyes to signal the end of their conversation. With his arms raised easily above his head, serving as his pillow, the boy rocked his head slightly to the rock music blaring through his ear phones.

Roxas sighed as he made his way to the door.

"The name's Demyx by the way!"

Roxas waved behind him and decided against giving Demyx his name at least until he got those damn ear phones out. The blonde shut the door behind him and frowned at the world he found himself in. Log cabins all in a row, numbered accordingly. The main cabin at least five times the size of their rooms, serving as gymnasium, cafeteria and study hall all in one. The proudly hung sign reading "Camp 13" swung to and fro with the wind, not a foot above the mess hall's entrance.

Why it was called Camp _13_ Roxas couldn't begin to fathom, but he was here and Demyx had given him reason to pull through. And that was enough. Well, he hoped it would be enough.

xxx

"Don't tell me we're going to sit around a camp fire and talk about our feelings like some scripted scene from an Alcoholics Anonymous infomercial." Roxas deadpanned as he pushed around a lone green pea around his plate.

Demyx shook his head at the blonde before stabbing the tortured pea with his own fork and stuffing it in his mouth. "Roxas, kid, you are like, seriously, the most apathetic teenager I have ever come across."

Roxas stared at Demyx for a moment. "I was gonna eat that."

A roll of his eyes and a snort. "Then don't play with your food, brat."

"Seriously, how old are you so that you can boast about being older than me, huh?"

"Seventeen." Demyx replied in between bites of the crunchiest, most annoying apple Roxas had ever heard.

"Wow, really?" Roxas asked with monotonous sarcasm. "Me, too."

The other blonde choked on his apple, hacking and coughing at bits of fruit, and dramatically smacking his chest before sputtering out a, "You're _what?!"_ in Roxas's direction. "Damn, dude! I would have thought you were like twelve or fourteen." With eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar, Demyx returned to his apple cautiously, eyes still curiously glued to Roxas's seventeen year old face.

"It's the face, I know." Roxas sighed. "I get it all the time."

Seeing as though any sort of meaningful conversation with Demyx was going to be useless now, Roxas entertained himself with watching the counselors A.K.A the psychiatrists and therapists scramble about to form groups, a blue-haired man pointing them into their designated areas. Roxas heard a few of the second year campers call him Saix the Dictator.

If there was anybody sane in this whole place, it was probably Saix. Ironically, in a camp full of troubled children and therapists, the sanest person was a man with blue hair and a scar on his face. Sadly, ironic.

Just as Roxas started to lose interest, a sudden tug on his shirt collar sent his attention back to Demyx, who, last Roxas had paid attention, was sitting in awe at his age, but was now brimming with excitement across the table and holding Roxas's collar like he would explode if he didn't say what was on his mind. Roxas wondered if he wanted to hear what the blonde had to say, but left his caution behind him and gave Demyx the nod to continue.

"So I totally forgot to tell you something last night!" Demyx exclaimed, returning to his seat. "We're in Cabin 8, right? Well, there's a story that goes along with Cabin 8." The taller blonde forked a large piece of his dinner into his mouth before continuing with the grace of a chicken. "About, ohhh, maybe five or so years ago, there's this kid who vanished one summer. He had gotten so messed up from one of the sessions here at camp that he ran into the forest," Demyx gave a dramatic pause before widening his eyes in a way that he probably assumed would scare Roxas, "but he never came back, his body was never found! But it's said that he still returns to Cabin 8, thinking that he has to attend camp, and _sometimes_, they say that you can hear him calling out to you when you're alone, beckoning for you to go into the forest and join him."

A silence hung over the two of them as the other campers filtered out of the dining hall in scattered amounts.

"Was that supposed to be scary?" Roxas asked, uninterested and unamused. He smirked as Demyx's shoulders slumped in disappointment and a defeated sigh escaped his lips. Reaching across the table, Roxas gave Demyx a pat on the shoulder and said, "That was cute though. Good try," before making his way to the exit, where the rest of the campers had gathered.

A chuckle left Roxas's lips as Demyx's jaw dropped and a childlike tantrum bumbled out of the boy's mouth. "_You're_ _so not cute, Roxas!"_ Demyx called after him, shoveling forkful after forkful of the last of his apple pie dessert before running down after him.

"Second years to the left and first years to the right!" Saix ordered from his spot atop a pedestal, loudspeaker in hand and an irritated crease between his eyebrows. "There will be a list on the door of each Session Cabin, look for your names and wait patiently for your counselor!"

_Is that a girl?_ Roxas thought as he stepped through the threshold, eyes focusing on a blue-haired, slender figure on a couch.

Upon hearing the click and swing of the door, the blue-haired girl turned calmly in her seat, sending Roxas a warm smile.

As Roxas made his way to the center of the room, a conversation with his brother about Camp 13 bubbled to the front of his mind, forcing an uncalled for panic and break into a sweat onto his teenage self.

_"They're totally going to make you sleep with girls to turn you straight." His brunette twin snickered as he tossed a popcorn into his mouth, ignoring the screams of (obviously newbie actors and) defenseless teenagers tearing apart the sanctity of his television._

_Roxas rolled his eyes as he reached for a handful of the popcorn from Sora, scowling when the brunette childishly turned away, keeping the bowl out of reach. "Unlikely, Sora. It's all based on psychology and shit."_

_"Yeah, yeah whatever. Just don't come back and start spouting crap like you've been fixed by all that psychobabble bullshit." Sora, now on the floor (because Roxas had pushed him down and demanded his snack) and popcorn-less, said with a half grin. "I like having a gay brother! It means I don't have to worry about losing my girlfriend to you. I mean, come on! Look at this face!" As if to emphasize, Sora slapped both his hands onto Roxas's face, completely disregarding the red marks it was bound to produce._

_"One, you don't have a girlfriend. And two, this face is the same as yours." Roxas growled, threatening to bite Sora's hand as he chomped on the air beside his brother's wrist._

_"One, I will in the future. And two, exactly, man! Our face is irresistible!" Sora grinned, swiping the bowl back from Roxas's hands. "No, but seriously. Watch them stick girls on you."_

_Roxas stayed silent for a while before smacking Sora's arm. "I'm going to hunt you down and hurt you if that really does happen."_

_"And you know what she'll say? 'Oh, Roxas! Hold me! Hold me in your arms like the man you are! Aren't I amazing? Look at this body!'" And Sora made a motion against his chest as he cupped a fake chest on him and lifted to suggest some awkward bouncing motion with his hands._

_"...You're disgusting." Roxas, with a grin on his face and amusement lighting his eyes, threw a pillow at his twin's face. "Stop that."_

_"OHHH ROXAS."_

_"STOP THAT!"_

Before Roxas had the chance to utterly embarrass himself in front of the woman, a group of boys stepped into the cabin, laughing about some hilarious event during dinner, something Roxas cared too little about to listen in on.

"Looks like that's everyone!" The woman said after counting each male body in the room. "Good evening boys, my name is Aqua. And for the next month, I will be your friend, your mentor, and your counselor! Pleased to make your acquaintance!"

There was one thing about girls that really unnerved Roxas. It was in the way they smiled at him. Their smile was never just a smile. There was always some hidden meaning he was supposed to see behind layers and layers of fake words and facades, and each time he never failed to hit and miss. He was tired of trying and failing. He was tired of reading between the lines.

Girls, girls. They made great friends, but that's where he drew the line.

Aqua was no different, but unlike the girls of his past, behind Aqua's smile wasn't some hidden sorrow or an ocean of love for Roxas. It was brutality. It was the unceasing disregard for human comfort and the concept of sleep.

_She has to be the most insane person here_. Roxas reasoned as he stood in pitch black with nothing more than a flashlight, a map, and what was incorrectly labeled as "The Scavenger Hunt to Yourself," created by Aqua herself. Roxas allowed himself a few strings of curses as he scornfully rammed his shoulders into several trees on his "quest to find himself."

A scavenger hunt, or the "Hippie Hunt into Death" as Roxas liked to call it, in the dead of night was not going to cure, fix nor change his sexual preference in the least. No. But it _could_, however, and he stressed this idea in his head repeatedly, poison him, break him, and ruin his life forever if, let's say, he fell off a cliff, survived the fall and returned home in a body cast. Damn; if they wanted him dead, they could have just said so. But he supposed suicide was the last way Camp 13 wanted to lose its campers.

"Teardrop of a fairy," Roxas read, hand trembling with rage, "what the _fuck_ is a _teardrop_ of a _fucking fairy?"_

In a fit of exasperation, Roxas stomped his foot on the ground and released an angry growl into the crisp night air, tossing his head back like some crazed animal, and kicked the nearest tree trunk, cursing only when the pain registered as a crawling sensation of needles up and down the length of his foot. Tired and sleepless, Roxas fell to the floor, creating a ruckus of crunching leaves beneath him.

"This is ridiculous." Roxas muttered, laying down his flashlight and organizing various twigs and branches around him. "'Don't come back until you get at least 3 out of the 10 items,' she said, 'they're riddles so try your best,' she said, 'you can do it! It's not impossible!' My ass. She could have at least waited until morning to send us to our death. At least we could have had breakfast. Dinner sucked. What was with that mystery meat anyway? Some roadkill they found on the way up here?"

Roxas wasn't really that hateful of dinner, but he was hungry and lost in a forest. He had a right to bitch.

The snapping of a twig in front of him shut Roxas up, but alerted the rest of his senses. Never setting foot out of the confines of the bustling city until now proved a disadvantage as Roxas's body went rigid with fear and ignorance. His life didn't flash before his eyes, and a million questions didn't run through his head, but he heard a ringing in his ear.

And then a whisper of his name.

"Who's there?" Roxas squeaked, his voice unintentionally high pitched.

_Snap._

Frightened, the blonde scrambled to his feet, fingers numbly grabbing for his flashlight, and bolted in the opposite direction, sprinting past trees he thought he recognized and some he didn't. He jumped over logs and strange looking bushes, but no matter how far he ran, he felt the cold whisper of his name sing past his ears and into the hot summer air of the forest.

And when Roxas thought he could no longer hear the call of his name, deafened by the pounding of his heart, he came to a stop in a place that looked no different from his original spot, but certain elements proved it wasn't. There was a dip in the area, a dangerous one right in front of him. If he hadn't stopped in time, he probably would have lost control of himself, tumbled down the hill and died. But that might be pushing it.

He waited for his breathing to level out, shunning his unattractive wheezing from his mind to focus his ears on the noises around him.

Crickets chirping. Flapping of wings in the air.

Roxas slowly rose from his place on the dirt, dusting himself off as quietly as he could. Nothing was out there, he chanted to himself. As sense returned to him, Roxas examined the new area, eyes darting from one tree to the next as if expecting something to jump at him. If anything did, he'd be ready.

_To run,_ Roxas thought bitterly, _but it's the only thing I can do._

He took a few mindless steps in a random direction, listening for a sign from the camp. If he didn't find his way back, they would send someone out to look for him right? They would find him right?

Just as Roxas passed an inconspicuous tree, an unnatural mark across the trunk of a tree at about eye level, resembling the outline of a painful gash that had healed erratically over time, caught his eye. The blonde took several moments to blink and focus his vision. He felt around the edges of the mark as if he had suddenly become in tune with nature.

Who was he kidding?

Roxas sighed in defeat and let his hand fall back to his side. Even if it _was_ made by someone, it was old. Whoever made it must be long gone from here.

"Now then," Roxas frowned, appalled at his own thought process at this point, "look for a fairy's teardrop or go back to camp?" See, he gave himself these options, but really, he knew what would happen if he went to camp empty-handed (for nothing on his list was found). He'd be sent right back out again to find a fairy's teardrop. Whatever supernatural anomaly that was.

_If it's a fairy's teardrop you're looking for, then you've come to the right place!_

Roxas froze on the spot.

A teenage boy hung upside down from a branch directly in front of him, his face mere inches away from the other's. The boy's long red locks donned stray green leaves, haphazardly tossed into the mess of hair and vaguely reminding Roxas of an inverted Christmas.

_Who are you?_ Roxas wanted to ask, but the words wouldn't come out.

The boy hopped down to the ground and only then did Roxas realize the differences in their physical build. The redhead towered over him by a good head or two, and he stood in a slight slant, as if he wasn't sure how to angle his long, thin body.

"Hey there!" The redhead greeted.

Dumbfounded, Roxas could only manage a weak nod of his head.

"You gonna tell me your name there Blondie?" The taller boy teased, leaning down so that he could peer into Roxas's eyes.

Startled, Roxas took a step back and averted his gaze elsewhere.

"Roxas."

xxx

Scant sunlight filtered through the sliver of space between the curtains of Cabin 8, but not a single resident stirred in their sleep. Both blondes remained stuffed beneath their blankets, shifting their position only to snuggle in closer to the pillow resting at their side. On Roxas's bed was a bag of items and a scavenger list. Three items were messily scratched off, two of which had an elegant check mark placed next to the bullet point, making it look as though two different people had written on it.

A light rap at the door forced a groan from Roxas's throat. The small blonde still didn't make any movements to leave the comfort of his bed though, hoping that the groan would send the camp official away.

Several taps later, Roxas rolled to the side of his bed, pillow in hand, and threw the pillow straight for Demyx's head with scarily accurate aim.

"Hey! Wake up!" Roxas called, glad that years of tolerating Sora finally paid off somehow. "There's someone at the door!"

"Why don't you get it?" Demyx groaned, honestly depressed that his ear bud fell out of his ear upon impact with the pillow. Even with complaints spewing out of his mouth, the dirty blonde rolled out of bed and trudged toward the door, nearly slamming his head against the door trying to open it with half-lidded eyes. "We're up!" He cried and slammed the door shut before the official could add anything.

"Who was it?" Roxas mumbled as he pushed the blanket down to his waist, but still refused to get up.

Demyx gave him a shrug as he leaned over the wooden desk to glance at the analog clock, groaning when he read it as 5:30 AM.

"Hell if I know." Demyx answered, tossing himself back into his bunk. "These people need to realize that this is a camp full of guys. Gay or not, we need our _sleep_. Don't wake us up at the crack of dawn."

"Dawn?" Roxas snorted. "Not even the sun is awake yet."

The blonde rolled onto his side, flinching when something dug into his side. Lazy hands felt around the space between his torso and the edge of the bed until his fingers slid across a small box, no bigger than half his palm.

Blinking his eyes in the dark room, Roxas found the thin divider across the midsection of the box and delicately flipped it open. A sparkling silver necklace glittered slightly, using what little light it could find in the room to sparkle. Roxas picked up the trinket by its teardrop-shaped glass pendant and twisted it around his fingers, curiously but carefully.

Blue eyes scanned the necklace. He knew who it belonged to, but how it got into his bed, he had no idea.

Placing the necklace back into its case, Roxas decided he'd just ask Axel later.

That was his name. Axel. The little (_extremely_ tall actually) demon that found him lost in the woods last night led him back to camp, but not before thoroughly messing around with Roxas's sanity. As payment for helping Roxas with the scavenger hunt and getting him back to camp safely, Axel demanded Roxas to come back again every day until camp's end.

_It gets lonely living out here in the woods, y'know? No one ever just... passes by._

Roxas could understand that. Any sane person would avoid this area like the plague. One, you've got a camp full of psychos, and two, who does all that Mother Nature stuff anymore? Whatever reason he chose, Roxas didn't see himself coming of his own accord. Ever.

Axel lived a little past the area he found Roxas in, but adamantly—as in evil eye and temper tantrum at the mere mention of the idea—refused to take Roxas back to his place for some decent food and maybe a phone call to his brother.

Roxas could only take a shot in the dark that Axel didn't like his home or his family or was just embarrassed by it.

He could empathize. Afterall, he's always been reluctant to invite friends over with that embarrassing goofball Sora as his brother and that socially awkward guy he has to call Dad and his Mom, who still had harsh traces of her rebellious—delinquent, biker girl—days in her personality (like how she demanded Sora and Roxas to team against her in a mixed martial arts battle—which _always_ ended up as her victory and then a long-winded chastisement on the boys part for not being strong enough). Huh, his family was insane.

"So what happened to you last night man?" Demyx asked with a mouth full of sliced strawberries. "You came back in the middle of the night looking half dead."

"I was on a scavenger hunt."

"Ahh, sounds like you got Aqua. She's a crazy one."

"Most girls are."

Demyx chuckled and took a chug of his milk, unperturbed by the droplets of milk dribbling down the sides of his mouth and along his jaw. Upon downing the whole carton, he let out a satisfied sigh and rubbed at his mouth with his arm. Roxas, who just now noticed that Demyx didn't even hesitate on figuring out his counselor, pressed his thumb to his lips and dragged it across his bottom lip, deep in thought.

"Uhm, I'm not attracted to you; you know this," Demyx started with a nervous laugh, "but you should watch those unintentionally seductive moves there, kiddo."

Roxas stared at Demyx for a moment, before, "Hm? What? _Oh._ That's seductive?"

Demyx only shook his head with a grin. "Don't tell me that's how you lure guys in, Roxas. That's really sly of you." And the blonde winked at him humorously before returning to his plate, half-eyeing Roxas's untouched hash brown.

"Hey Dem," Roxas nodded toward his roommate to grab his attention, "How _bad_ does Aqua get?" _Since she's apparently got a reputation among campers_, Roxas finished in his head.

The other blonde snorted and attempted to stifle a laugh before hurriedly shoveling the last remnants of his breakfast into his mouth. "Sorry, Rox, but you're going to have to find that out for yourself!" Cried Demyx, laughing and choking simultaneously as he ran down the mess hall.

Roxas's jaw fell slightly as the other boy disappeared from sight. "Oh, fuck me."

xxx

"Evening!" The redheaded guide from the night before appeared before Roxas, this time jumping out from a bush of berries and holding a bird in his hands. Leaves were still scattered all over him and mud was smeared across his face, at least that much was the same. "While I help you, I'll be helping Skye here. He seems to have lost his way."

Axel held out the tiny bird in his hands, a wide grin on his face as the little bird chirped in agreement and danced on his palms.

A blonde brow raised curiously as Axel neared him, "Skye?"

"Yeah! Skye here's a Cerulean Warbler. It's a forest dweller and one of the smallest birds in North America." Axel started to rub his thumb against the back of the bird's head in small circles, smoothing down the blue bird's feathers. "Its scientific name is _Dendroica cerulea_ and—oh. Oh, I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry!" A light blush colored Axel's otherwise pale features as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"A birder, huh?" Roxas smirked as he adjusted the strap of his drawstring bag, jostling the contents inside for the least amount of discomfort for their hunt. "Don't apologize. It's cute."

Axel snorted as he drew the bird close to his shoulder and let it hop onto his shirt, perching itself comfortably between his neck and his hair (which made it look like it was using the red strands as a blanket). The taller teen, at least Roxas assumed he was a teen, gave Roxas's long sleeve shirt a tug at the hem, like a shy and subtle suggestion that they should be heading out. When Roxas complied, Axel gave him a grin that almost said _thanks for understanding_.

He did that a lot, Roxas noticed. Whenever words didn't have to be exchanged between them and Roxas would understand what the redhead had meant. Like how Axel would look up at a tree and down at Roxas with a frown, the blonde had known that his hidden item was placed at the top of the tree and retrieving it could mean death, but he simply sighed and had asked Axel to watch his stuff while he "climbed his way to the sky and get snatched away by King of the Eagles that would take him to Middle Earth."

The little nerdy joke had gotten a good laugh out of the other boy, much to Roxas's surprise and beguilement.

Or when they had finished their hunt last night and Roxas had entered the camp, tired and half-asleep. Axel had stayed at the forest's edge and grabbed hold of Roxas's sleeve before he strayed too far into the camp. The redhead, with an expression so stoic that Roxas had frozen where he stood, looked into Roxas's blue eyes and stared, and stared.

"I'll come back tomorrow," Roxas had replied before thinking, as if he had to say it, as if Axel had already asked the question, "I promise."

And he grinned that same thankful grin and disappeared into the forest, waving goodbye and shouting for Roxas to keep his word.

Roxas's eyes trailed after Axel's silhouette as he led the way deeper into the forest without much direction, merely looking around and admiring the way the moonlight hit the trees and the forest floor, creating blended shadows and imagined scenes of fantasy. "First on the list is a Wayfinder? What in hell is a Wayfinder?" Roxas demanded as he gripped the scavenger list in his hand, flashlight in the other.

"Something that helps you find your way!" Axel suggested with less class and more playful teasing.

"Not helping." Roxas deadpanned as he shined the flashlight on Axel, who nearly jumped in response. "She's got a picture here, but it just looks like a horribly drawn starfish."

Axel wandered over to Roxas's side and peered over the blonde's shoulder to take a look at Aqua's deformed starfish. The redhead snorted at the drawing, covering his mouth before a full fledged guffaw erupted from his lips. "Five years and she still sucks at drawing!" Axel exclaimed in between chortles, his hands clutching at his side lest he fall apart from his amusement.

"You know her?" Roxas asked, interest piqued.

"Yeah, yeah," Axel admitted as he wiped a tear away from his eye, "She was my counselor way back when. Can't believe it's been so long..." The older teen's smile seemed to turn into a fixture as the seconds ticked by, his eyes glazed over with a cloud of thought hanging above them. "Anyway, she likes to put the Wayfinder on trees, like a Christmas ornament. If you keep your eyes to the tree tops while we walk, we should find it. It's probably near the post with all the signs at the bottom of the hill though. That's where mine was."

If it weren't for the fact that Roxas was more interested in Axel being gay or ex-gay (which he doubted) and the location of the Wayfinder, Roxas might have noticed the strange age Axel appeared and how old he should be (because the minimal age for the camp was 17), and he might have noticed that the timing of five years ago corresponded to something he had heard about that morning. But of course Roxas was a teenager on a mountain with a male stranger in an anti-gay camp with no one to tell him no.

So of course he had to ask.

"Are you gay?"

Axel stopped mid-climb on a fallen, moss-covered tree trunk to give Roxas a bewildered look, half of his face wanting to tease the blonde to tell him "no" and the other half wanting to break into a grin to reply with a "well, duh. I wouldn't be helping you out in the middle of the woods at this shit hour for nothing."

And then Axel decided he liked making the blonde chase after him so he settled with an enigmatic response of, "What do you think?"

Roxas stayed silent a moment before making his way over to the log and unceremoniously clamber to the top. His brows furrowed together because he didn't know how to answer. He wanted to say yes, because the way Axel was smirking at him was legally seductive, or no, because the way Axel was smirking at him was also legally tormenting.

At least by his standards.

"Fuck you." Roxas breathed as he jumped off the log and onto the other side, where Axel had merely watched the blonde struggle over. "You could have helped." The blonde huffed as he passed the other boy, sending him an annoyed glare.

Axel only smiled and sauntered behind Roxas, keeping his pace just a tad bit slower than the blonde. He leaned forward as he imitated each step the blonde took and whispered into his ear. "Was that an invitation, Roxas?"

The blonde jumped at the sudden proximity of the boy, who he hadn't heard walk up behind him, and before he knew it, felt a ghost of a whisper across his skin in cold waves. Roxas grasped his ear as he whirled around, eyes bugged out and mouth defaulting to a surprised hang. He could only stammer with failed attempts to deny any sort of insinuation by the redhead.

Pleased with the reaction he received, Axel grinned and waved Roxas over to the sign post, where, sure enough, a star hung on a nearby tree glimmered in the moonlight.

Roxas breathed a sigh of relief and for once thanked Aqua for her impossible list of items.

He was rather enjoying himself.

xxx

"Roxas? Earth to Roxas!" Demyx waved his spork-pierced waffle in front of Roxas's eyes, trying to get the younger boy to focus. "Dude, you look dead. What have you been doing?" As if to emphasize his point, the sandy-blonde boy reached over and pulled at the area beneath Roxas's eyes with his thumbs—Roxas already knew he had full-fucking bags under his eyes. He did make it a habit of looking in the mirror each morning to make sure he was decent. He didn't want to leave this camp with a reputation of looking like a slob.

"It's just those late night scavenger hunts Aqua's been having us do. S'all it is." Roxas hadn't meant to slur his words, but he couldn't help it. He was just so fucking tired. He had gotten back to camp at around midnight, but for the life of him could not get to sleep. He kept tossing and turning, thinking about Axel, thinking about his scavenger hunt, thinking about home, and then thinking about home _and_ Axel.

If this was how Roxas would be when he had a crush, he hated to see what he'd be like if he were in _love_. Heaven forbid that ever happened.

"Really? It looks a lot more serious than just lack of sleep." Demyx surveyed as he moved his head in different angles to capture the whole of Roxas's face. "I mean, I only look like that during finals week, and that's a week of no sleep and overdosing on caffeine and learning a semester's worth of bullshit."

Roxas snickered. "Maybe I'm in love." The sentence was meant to be a joke, but for some reason Roxas felt a jolt through his hands. When feeling returned, he put his hands on his lap as if he were afraid that Demyx might find out.

The other blonde blinked before pushing his torso away from the table. "Whoa, whoa, I thought we already established we can't have this sort of affair Roxas." Demyx said, in a mock-serious tone. "I already gave my heart to a gorgeous vixen at home." Demyx singsong voice couldn't be masked by any sort of fake emotion. With the mere mention of his partner, the boy was on a high, acting as though saying it normally wouldn't give his lover justice.

As Demyx lost himself in his memories of what sounded like a forbidden romance (his lover being several years older than him—like a teacher actually—and their affair starting while Demyx was in high school), Roxas glanced down at his hands and gave them an experimental flex. While the tingling sensation had left his hands, he felt strange in his own skin, like the feeling wasn't his and the movements his body made weren't by his decision.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. The usual activities: some exams and psychological tests in the morning, surveys of how they felt and how they were coping, sports to build trust and teamwork in the afternoon, a mediocre lunch, a one-on-one session with Aqua (which Roxas admitted wasn't as bad as her activities), and then dinner.

The highlight of Roxas's day was definitely his dinner that evening. He had only tried it once when he was a child but he remembered the taste well—sea salt ice cream. Something he never managed to get after his family's summer road trip to Twilight Town. He savored each bite and even nagged at Demyx like a child to surrender his share, which left Demyx in a state of shock to see the light in Roxas's eyes shine so brightly, at which point Roxas snatched the ice cream away like a professional thief.

"I can't believe you just robbed me of my ice cream." Demyx uttered in disbelief, eyes wide and hands in a position that looked like they were supposed to be holding something, but in actuality held nothing. "Who are you and what have you done to Roxas?"

Roxas gave Demyx a haughty smile and gave the stolen treat a lick.

While Demyx continued to gawk at Roxas's out of character action, a group of boys a few tables down had called his name, waving him over. The sandy-blonde gave Roxas a goodbye wave and a "see you tonight" before jogging over to the group of rowdy boys, one of whom threw an arm around Demyx's neck and pulled him down to have a seat.

It was only in that moment of being totally alone did Roxas notice something strange going on with the counselors. Saix had been sitting at the edge of the stage, holding his dinner plate in one hand and wielding a fork with his other. He had been watching the group of boys the whole time, but for some reason, his eyes kept wandering to where Roxas sat.

The blonde told himself it was coincidence, that it was just Saix's default position in the same way that he often turned to his left because his bangs liked to cover his right eye. Nothing to it.

Until he saw Aqua, an odd look on her face, approach Saix with two folders in her hands. Roxas couldn't make out what the folders said from where he sat, but he did catch her send a wary glance in his direction, at which he lowered his gaze to his ice cream to feign ignorance. The blue-haired woman stood beside Saix, saying things in hushed tones and using her professional pen to point at this part and that part on the paper and then shuffle to one page to another page in another folder.

The more she spoke, the greater the crease between her eyebrows became, and the more Saix listened, the more his face became expressionless, replacing his usual scowl and irritation.

When Aqua had finished whatever it was she was saying, Saix lifted his gaze to Roxas. The two of them locked eyes, and much to Roxas's own amazement, he challenged Saix, not looking away until the blue-haired man turned to Aqua and put a hand on her shoulder as though for consolation.

Somehow, Roxas felt disgusted with the whole thing. He stood from his table and bolted out of the mess hall, tossing his unfinished popsicle into the trash can as he passed.

The little meeting with Roxas's group and Aqua was an awkward one. She was obviously uncomfortable and stuttered with her directions. With little to no grace at all, Aqua had sent them all back out into the forest, disappearing into her cabin before even wishing them luck.

"She was acting weird?" Axel asked as he petted Skye, who still remained perched on his shoulder.

"Yeah, like she was afraid of me or something." Roxas replied as he kicked a nearby stone. "Saix was acting weird too."

Axel let out a soft _hmm_ in response, but offered nothing else. "Maybe they think you're resisting their anti-gay prowess." The redhead suggested as he raised his hands and wiggled his fingers like he was trying to cast voodoo magic on the boy.

Roxas chuckled. "I'm pretty sure they all know that everyone is 'resisting their anti-gay prowess,' whatever the hell that is."

With a shrug, Axel replied, "It was worth a try."

xxx

_I'm running_, Roxas thought—conscious, but not quite fully aware,_ but where to?_

The blonde was running through the camp, rushing, rushing as if there was an emergency—as if his life counted on it. He dashed past the sleeping counselors and delved into the thickness of the forest. Quick pants escaped his mouth as he maneuvered past tree and bush and stray animal alike, hopping, jumping, speeding past everything.

Every now and again, his fingers would brush past a rough mark across a tree—an unnatural mark that reminded Roxas of his first night out in the woods before he met Axel—and then his body would twist into an entirely different direction or run with a newfound vigor. His body knew where to take him, but he didn't know. He couldn't fathom what he was doing out here.

But he let it go. He moved as his body willed him to; something whispered in his head to go back to sleep. _Go back to sleep_, it said, _only a dream._

Roxas couldn't close his eyes; like an unwilling captive thrust into action, the small boy headed deeper into the forest. With only slivers of moonlight to guide him, though Roxas doubted it made much difference; he couldn't see anything even with the light. His body stopped in the middle of darkness. There he dropped to his knees and began to dig—dig until his fingernails caught dirt beneath them, dig until his whole body wracked with pain at the constant motions.

For what seemed like hours of endless digging and mindless compliance, Roxas's head shot up and his whole body darted toward a nearby tree. His movements mimicked that of a small animal, hiding from a stronger, more dangerous predator, but as his palm found a familiar hollow in the wood, the fear left his body.

And he ran again.

xxx

"Roxas! Time to get up, man!"

The younger boy groaned in defiance as he rolled onto his side, pulling his covers over the top of his head as if doing so would block out Demyx's voice—and reality for that matter. Demyx's reply was a good, merciless attack with his pillow, at which Roxas only groaned louder.

"Okay! I'm up!" Roxas nearly sobbed when he realized his eyes had to adjust to the darkness. "Ugh. It's not even dawn yet."

"That's how it is around here," Demyx laughed as he styled his hair in the mirror, "Well, anyway, I'm done already so I'll meet you at the mess hall."

Roxas blinked, wondering if his roommate had been brainwashed sometime between the present and last night's dinnertime and propped himself onto his elbow to look down at his fully-dressed, fully-awake roommate. "You're up so early."

Demyx turned on his heel and gave Roxas a wide, toothy grin. "Chocolate chip pancakes with a side of ice cream for breakfast to the first few who can make it."

_Nope, same old Demyx_. Roxas thought, collapsing back into his bed with a small smirk. "Of course _breakfast_ would get you to be punctual."

"Not just _any_ kind of breakfast Rox, a _delicious_ breakfast." Demyx corrected before making the last touches on his hair and heading out the door. "See you in a bit!"

Roxas grunted. His body felt like shit. It was the kind of feeling he had after getting "trained" by his Spartan mother, but he hadn't done any hardcore physical activity all summer. But the pain was there, and it took everything the blonde could muster to hoist himself up and climb down the ladder. Roxas stretched his neck, testing out the fluidity and pain in the area.

Just as Roxas rolled his head to the side, his eyes caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. And froze.

His pajamas were completely soiled in brown, but not just his clothes, but his hair too, his face, his hands, his arms, his feet—everything on him was covered in mud. Roxas exhaled unsteadily, attempting to calm himself down with each breath.

"What is this?" Roxas whispered to himself as he examined his clothes. He turned his inspection to his hands and when he did so, a _flash_ of a dream appeared in his head. "Digging. I was digging...? For what?" Slowly, Roxas headed for the bathroom where he shed his clothes and soaked them with water, lest Demyx find his muddy clothes and ask him what he was doing outside in his pajamas.

_The dream,_ Roxas deduced_, might not have been a dream. What was I doing? Where did I go?_

As soon as Roxas stepped into the shower, he hissed in pain and jumped out, realizing that his feet were covered in cuts and bruises. Roxas watched helplessly as fresh blood began to seep from the opened wounds; he listened as the hot water hit the shower walls and crumpled to the floor as the room filled with white steam clouds.

_Why?_

xxx

"You what?" Axel asked, baffled by Roxas's story. The redhead had stopped playing with Skye, who flitted around between him and the trees. "Were you sleepwalking?"

Roxas shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I was," the blonde hesitated as he saw a mark on a tree, "I was aware—kind of." He dragged a fingertip along the scratch mark and traced the edges. "I was looking for something. But I can't imagine what it could be."

"Maybe your body really wanted to get the scavenger hunt finished." Axel laughed, but Roxas caught the uneasy tone of his voice.

The blonde smiled apologetically for putting the redhead in an awkward position, and half-heartedly agreed, "Yeah, maybe. I am so ready to be out of here, but it's still only the second week. I have to put up with it for two more." Blue eyes locked onto saddened green ones, and Roxas thought he said something out of line.

"You could," Axel offered nervously, "stay here." The redhead watched Roxas abandon the tree and walk over to him and reach out his hand as if to place it on his shoulder. Axel suddenly stepped back and waved his hands in front of him before Roxas could get close. "Just kidding! No one would want to stay here for very long!"

Roxas let his hand fall to his side and gave him a small smile.

"The last item on the list is?" The redhead obviously changed the subject, catching Skye as he did so.

"'The sea of the forest,'" Roxas read, once again dumbfounded by Aqua's ridiculously impossible—creative, he meant creative—names. "Any ideas?"

Axel merely shrugged and raised his hands. "Nope. Never got that one." He turned to Skye, and acting like he would get an answer, Axel cocked his head to the side and asked, "Do you know, Skye?" The bird chirped in response.

A moment of silence passed between them. "Guess he doesn't know either." Roxas sighed.

Retaliating, Skye flew off Axel's shoulder and swooped down to grab Roxas's scavenger list with its talons. Chirping and trilling as it dropped onto Roxas's head and hopped on top of the blonde locks.

"Hey!" Roxas cried, throwing his arms in the air to deter the bird. "Get off and give that back!"

A loud burst of laughter stopped both blonde and bird alike; both turned to the redhead who was dying of laughter beside a tree.

"What's so funny?" Roxas asked, though he very well knew the answer. Apparently so did Skye, who agreed with a _twitter-chirp_, and flew back to Axel to attack him instead. "Serves you right!" The blonde teased as he threw some stray leaves at Axel's face.

"Okay, okay! I surrender!" Axel fell to the floor and raised both arms in defeat as the bird sat victoriously on his head. "But, sheesh, bird you can attack."

Roxas smirked. "Y'know, it's kind of funny, the way it's sitting there. It's like a sunset over the sea—_wait_."

Axel stared at Roxas as realization dawned on both of them. "So _you're _the last item, Skye?"

The bird gave a jubilant hop on Axel's head as if to say "that's what I've been trying to say!"

"Looks like your hunt is finished, young one," Axel said with a bad imitation of a kung fu master, "You are now ready for the next part of your journey."

Roxas rolled his eyes and sat beside Axel, leaning his upper body against a tree, eyes trying to outline their shadows. The tree's shadow had merged with Roxas's and connected the blonde's shadow to Axel's and Skye's. The thin connection was broken as Axel imitated the other boy and leaned against the trunk. Now Axel's shadow merged directly with Roxas's and somehow, Roxas couldn't help but grin.

"Hey, think it was coincidence we ran into each other here?" Roxas asked.

Axel hesitated for a moment, and the blonde attributed it to the redhead's sincere search for an answer. "No, I don't think it was."

xxx

_Again. What am I looking for?_

The familiar greenery of the forest rushed by as Roxas sprinted through with unnatural agility and speed. At some point, Roxas's eyes managed to catch a glimpse of a poorly hidden hole in the ground, covered in leaves and fallen branches. He didn't know how, but he knew that it was the hole he had dug with his bare hands.

He ran, and he ran, until he came to the edge of a fissure in the forest. The fissure was not so wide, but on the other side, the land began to slope downwards at a very high angle. A step further and Roxas would be sent tumbling down into pitch black. But he didn't take that extra step. He felt around the area with his feet and when he found a stone with a sharpened edge, Roxas's now trembling fingers grasped the stone and made a fresh mark on a tree.

His eyes snapped open.

Roxas could feel the dirt all over his body, all over his bed sheets. He didn't need to look into the mirror to know exactly what had happened. Cautiously, the boy pulled at a blind and peered out the window. The moon was still high in the air, meaning he hadn't been out too long this time. With as much care and silence as he could, Roxas headed for the bathroom to rid himself of the evidence.

When the deed was done and his body was clean, Roxas climbed back into bed and relayed the day's events. It was always routine until dinner. Dinner with Demyx, meeting with Aqua, scavenger hunt with Axel. So he started with the meeting.

_Aqua sat across from Roxas, who was the last boy in the group to have his one-on-one with Aqua. She started the conversation with a smile and asked him how he was._

_"Good." He replied. "Wished I could go home now."_

_Aqua pulled out Roxas's file then, as she usually did when she was talking to him. "Where did you live again?"_

_"Radiant Garden." She scratched something with her black and silver pen, and Roxas leaned forward, trying to catch a glimpse._

_Aqua moved away right on time and replied, "I see. Did you like it there?"_

_"Yeah. But I liked my hometown better."_

_"Your hometown?"_

_"Yeah. Twilight Town." Roxas smiled at the fireplace then, recalling memories of the clocktower where he would watch the sunset after a long day's work. "That's where I first had sea salt ice cream."_

_"Is that your favorite?"_

_"Yeah. I always had it when I was younger. I never forgot the taste even after I moved."_

_"Roxas, how old are you?"_

_"Nineteen. My birthday is in June. Talk about one of the worst months to be born in. No one ever remembers to wish me Happy Birthday over the summer. It gets pretty lonely sometimes."_

_"Siblings?"_

_"A brother named Sora. He's such an idiot. I don't know how we're related. Y'know he even had this stupid suggestion that you guys would have us sleep with girls to—but, actually, why are you asking me such things?"_

_"Oh, just curious about the one who's been finding all of the items on the list in record time!" Aqua giggled as she flipped through the folder. "You haven't been getting any help now have you?"_

_Roxas blanked for a moment before replying, "Nope."_

And then she let him go. Just like that. Nothing strange. Roxas pulled the blanket to his chin and stared at the ceiling. Then the scavenger hunt with Axel. They didn't do any real scavenging since Skye was already found, but they talked. The blonde smiled at the memory. Axel was telling him all about himself. How he had started working when he was fourteen, lost his virginity to the school's badass (whose name he had successfully forgotten, but was undoubtedly male), and how his parents, his mom really, couldn't stand her gay son and sent him here.

He didn't mind it though, he said, the camp allowed him to escape from his reality.

Axel leaned in close to Roxas then with a smirk ghosting over his features. "I was a really bad camper though," he admitted in a hushed tone, "I would find guys who were my type and had my way with them at various parts of the campus."

Roxas nearly fell over after hearing that, both with shock and respect. When Roxas had asked him the where's and what's and who's, Axel only happily obliged and told him most if not all of his forbidden escapades during his stay. That night, Roxas found it really difficult to keep his eyes off of Axel, found it really hard to not let his thoughts go awry.

A wide smile invaded Roxas's face as he remembered each of Axel's smirks, his smiles, his laughs, and as if he were being watched, Roxas hid beneath his covers and rolled to his side so that he would face the wall. Just to take his mind off of the charming teen, Roxas raised his hand to the wooden framing of the bunk bed, forcing his mind to think about the smoothness of the wood rather than Axel's pale skin that glowed in the moonlight, his vibrant red hair that Roxas always wanted to touch, but never did, his low, irresistible voice—his thoughts fell to a standstill.

Roxas frowned when his fingers slid over marking on the wood. The young boy reached his hand toward the foot of his bed where his flashlight lay and brought it toward his face. With hardly any care for his eyes, Roxas turned the flashlight on and illuminated a freshly painted area of the bed. It was a shade darker than the rest of the bedframe and covered just a tiny portion—the portion where a single word was scratched into the wood.

_Axel._

xxx

"I can't believe I'm almost done. Can you believe it? Man, I'm gonna miss you, Rox. Once you get outta this hellhole, you gotta contact me if you're ever in Hollow Bastion. I know it's the ghetto, but you've _gotta_ come. We can have you for dinner sometime, Rox. My baby can _cook_, I tell you—" Demyx paused as he made eye-contact with Roxas. He leaned in toward the blonde and squinted his eyes, wondering if they were playing tricks on him. "Do you wear contacts?"

Roxas looked at Demyx like he just said the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. "No. Why?"

Demyx tilted his head to the side and rubbed at his eyes a bit before examining the blonde's eyes again. "Well, it's just that," Demyx paused in wonder, "your eyes look sort of green. Like a greenish-blue, y'know?"

The blonde stiffened and pushed Demyx out of the way as he examined his eyes in the mirror. True enough, there was a greenish hue invading Roxas's deep blue eyes, but he couldn't let Demyx know.

With a careless wave of his hand, Roxas snorted, "It's just the light, Dem, relax."

"Really?" The other boy exclaimed doubtfully, but impressed all the same. "That's trippy!"

Roxas looked in the mirror one last time before following Demyx out of their cabin, bi-colored irises following their reflection.

xxx

Later that night Roxas headed into the woods with a clear head. Rather than waiting for Axel and confronting him, the blonde followed his less-than reliable memory of his nightly adventures into a deep portion of the woods. His eyes searched for the artificial scratches on the trees, dragging his fingers along the healing depressions as he passed.

By now, Axel should have found him as he usually did.

_Maybe he already knows. _Roxas mused bitterly. _Maybe he already sees through my eyes, and I'm not really the one in control right now._

But the blonde shook off the feeling, and continued his journey. After a good ten minutes of followings lines and masked footprints on the ground, Roxas came to the last mark—the one he himself had made not too long ago. He peered into the fissure in front of him, swallowing thickly when he couldn't see the bottom.

Roxas pulled at his drawstring bag and pulled out a long piece of rope—thin enough that he would be able to tie it easily, but thick enough to be sturdy. He tied one end of the rope onto the tree with the scar along its trunk. Just as he secured the rope, a voice startled him into letting it go.

"What are you doing, Roxas?"

Gathering his nerve, Roxas dared to glare at Axel, his next words almost a hiss. "I could ask the same thing."

"You don't understand, Rox."

The blonde seethed with anger at that comment—one, because it was true, and two, because despite seeing each other for nearly a month Axel hadn't clued him in on anything. "No, I don't. So why the hell won't you tell me what _this_," he pointed at his eyes and he didn't bother using the flashlight to make his point because he knew Axel understood, "is all about?"

Axel's face distorted for a split second with agony as he averted his eyes, unwilling to look at the evidence of his betrayal, but once the pain subsided, a new emotion seized him.

"You have _everything,_" Axel fumed in a low, guttural voice, "You don't even know how _lucky _you are. You're so _stoic_ to everything, that it's like you're not even _living._ Well, give it to me!" The redhead's voice inched higher as he continued to rage at Roxas; his body beginning to shake with overwhelming emotion, his voice becoming less and less restrained until he was _screaming_ at the younger boy. "I was born with _nothing,_ grew up with _nothing,_ and I _died with nothing!_ Tell me that I don't deserve to live, Rox, because I sure as hell have a hard time believing it!"

The teen's body began to flicker, like an image on a video running into interference. Parts of Axel's body faded in and out with each word while others, his hands especially, flash uncontrollably, rapidly.

"It's _my_ turn now." Suddenly, cold, wispy fingers clasped onto Roxas's neck and Axel whispered softly against his ear. "Give me your body, your life—grant me another chance, Roxas." Axel's hands felt more like icy ropes against Roxas's warm skin, but the blonde struggled against him, kicking at Axel's ghostly form as he lifted him off his feet.

Axel's hair flared as an unearthly wind whirled around them; his luminescent skin glowing every brighter, only making the blackening of his eyes all the more real. The white of his eyes were disappearing behind a solid black screen until only the green of his eyes and black of his pupils remained the same.

"Ax—!" Roxas choked, the loss of air only forcing him to react more violently. "Sto—!" Warm, frantic fingers grasped at air, passing straight through Axel's image.

"Just _let go_, Rox." The changed Axel growled, tightening his hold on the boy's neck all the more.

Desperate legs kicked and kicked at Axel, but only phased right through the other. Lightheadedness hit Roxas as he found himself weakening and unable to lift his body. _Resisting_, Roxas thought in defeat, _won't work on him._

Just as the blonde's eyes were about to close, a sudden high-pitched trill in the air alerted him once more. Shining blue specks flashed before Roxas's eyes, but for the life of him could not discern what was happening in front of him. He could only distinguish two sounds: Axel's frustrated grunts and what sounded like the angry chirp of a bird.

_Ah, maybe it's Skye..._ The thought raced through Roxas's mind, playing over and over as if that was the limit to his mental abilities.

Before Roxas could properly see his savior, Axel's hold on him failed and he dropped to the ground. And maybe, had he been in his right mind, he would have just fallen to the floor and stayed safe. However, his body with revived vigor and new breaths of air began kicking to stay on his feet—the adrenaline no doubt compelling his body to move.

The blonde landed on his feet and with vain attempts at balancing himself, tripped over his feet and sent himself backstepping unwillingly, uncontrollably, toward the break in the mountain. When his sole felt the edge of the fissure, his body stiffened, and he felt time slow. Skye was swooping down on Axel, and Axel had his head half-turned to see Roxas.

One green and black eye locked onto Roxas's falling form.

Roxas swore he heard the redhead call his name before darting into action. Suddenly, Axel wasn't so slow anymore. He was fast, _lightning fast_, before-Roxas-could-blink fast, as he disappeared and reappeared in a whirl of white and red and black. He felt like he was floating on a cold, cold cloud. He sailed right over the fissure, Axel's arms around him and all Roxas could think was, _You came back to me._

Although he wanted to believe he wasn't the only one tumbling disgracefully down the slope, Roxas knew he was. Once he had successfully hit the other side of the crack, Axel disappeared. The only comfort Roxas had was the concerned look of Axel's eyes—the proper colors restored to them and sincerity replacing malice.

It didn't take long until Roxas fell into another crack in the ground, but it was really more like a hole or a ditch, because he could see the walls all around him as he fell and a floor that didn't take too long to hit.

Roxas groaned as he realized he had just slammed against the ground without any sort of cushioning. The blonde lifted himself up and examined the area—dirt and rocks all around him, no grass, no water, nothing. Then Roxas noticed a peculiar stone not a foot away from where his head had fallen. If he were any taller, his head would have crashed right onto it—he grimaced at the thought and ignored the dark stain on top of the gray stone, telling himself it was just dirt or moss.

He dusted himself off and walked over to one of the walls of the trench and raised his arms up, measuring the distance between him and the top. He sighed when he saw that it was far too high to reach or jump for. The teen walked around, following the wall, looking for a portion that would be lower than the rest, so with his eyes raised to the world above, Roxas never noticed an unnatural figure sitting in front of him.

He approached it unknowingly, until his leg slammed against its side, sending the form slumping to the ground.

Roxas jumped at the clang and clatter of what he had hit. He clutched his leg, not out of pain, but out of fright, and jumped back. With his flashlight lost to him, he relied on moonlight to examine the fallen object.

He paled at his discovery, shaking legs giving way as he collapsed to the floor.

"Sad, isn't it?" Axel walked out from the shadows behind Roxas, unconcerned about the blonde and simply phased through him. "No one found me. After all these years." Either out of self-respect or a desire for continuity, the redhead reached out and adjusted his bones so that they were once again sitting in an upright position.

"But they should have found you! This place—it's not that far." Roxas couldn't believe it; was he to die from the same fate as Axel? Dead, alone, unknown?

Axel smiled cynically, "I died a few moments after I fell. My head hit a rock when I fell in; blood everywhere, Rox. I tried getting out despite the bleeding, but eventually I just y'know, felt too weak to do anything. So I decided to rest and sleep until morning when I was sure I'd be found." He adjusted his own skull's forehead as if he were teasing himself for being so stupid. "I just never woke up. It wasn't even that _big_ of a deal. I don't understand why I was so worked up that night." He shook his head and settled into the same sitting position as his skeleton and watched Roxas, a pained smile on his face. "Sorry... About all of this."

Roxas shook his head and took a seat beside Axel's spectral form, probably closer than he should have, but neither cared. "So, what—what happened?"

Axel sighed. "It started with one of Aqua's group sessions.

'I want to ask you all a few questions.' She said with her usual calm, sweet voice. She's a really good counselor y'know? If only she hadn't chosen this place to work at. This place is _the place_ where good knowledge gets used for bad practices. During my time, we called it The Organization. All sorts of conspiracies were going on, but I guess none of them were true.

So she asked, 'How many men have you boys been with?'

I was only nineteen at the time, but I had my fair share of relationships. But I was stupid; maybe it was hormones and my secret affairs _within_ the camp that I felt like I was pressured. Everyone answered and their numbers were low, really low, like they were all probably lying now that I think about it, because there was _no way_ some of those guys had ever been with only two other guys. No way.

But I made a promise to myself that no matter what they asked me or what they had me do, I was going to be true to myself. I wouldn't lie. I wouldn't change myself just to satisfy _them_. I just didn't work that way.

Speaking of which, the only reason why I was in this damn camp was because of my mother. I came out to her a week before sign-ups ended for the camp—lucky me, right? Well, she hated that I was gay—abhorred me for the whole week before she sent me off with a fake kiss and tears of concern. I only did it because I wanted to get away for a while.

I was the one supporting us—my mother and I. It was just the two of us. My dad left when I was thirteen and ever since then my mom just wasn't the same. Always crying, complaining. Eventually, she lost her job, so I started working. I figured that my leaving her would make her re-evaluate her life. I didn't think I would be leaving _permanently_. God, I don't even know how she is anymore. I can't _leave _this fucking forest."

Axel heaved out an exasperated sigh before continuing.

"Anyway, I answered her. I said, 'eight just this past year alone.' Five of which were at the camp, but I didn't tell her that of course. She stopped writing when I answered her and all the other boys just _gawked_ at me like I was an alien or something. Her eyes flicked up to my face, like she was considering if it was a lie or not. I felt like she looked at me differently at that moment—and she hadn't before, which I really liked about her—but I got so _worked up_ over—I don't even _know_ what—and I just bolted. I ran out into the woods.

I didn't know where I was going, what I was doing, I just ran. And before I knew it, I was lost.

Luckily for me, I had a survival knife hidden in my sock—don't look at me like that. I never said I was a good guy. Anyway, I started marking trees and tried to find my way around. And then I got to that fissure from before. I didn't mark any of the nearby trees, because right there, I saw light. I thought it was the camp and so I tried to run towards it.

I jumped over the fissure, thinking that I would land at the same elevation— not at an angle— so when my foot finally hit the ground, it came down hard—like that awkward moment when you think there's an extra step on the stairs, but there isn't? Yeah, that sort of motion. And then I _tripped_, and well, it was just downhill from there. I'm sure you can figure it out."

Roxas hummed a bit before responding, "You talk a lot."

Axel lazily glared at Roxas, partly-amused by the blonde's ability to remain calm. "You, frankly, don't talk enough. People don't know what you're thinking."

"That's the point." The smaller boy smirked as he gazed up at the sky, tracing outlines in the stars. "So what about this whole issue about wanting to be me?"

A small smile reached Axel's lips as he shook his head. "Gonna make me do some soul searching to you _here_, Rox?"

"Yeah," Roxas nodded, "I can't imagine any better place. Besides, I like to listen to you talk."

"Well, I'm not really sure. I never thought about taking over anybody's _life_ or doing any of that stuff. I didn't know what I wanted. For the longest time, I was literally just waiting for that 'light at the end of the tunnel' everyone talks about, but they've obviously never been dead. There was no light, nothing. Just me and the forest.

I roamed around a lot, talking to animals and stuff—yeah, you get to do that when you're dead. It's not as fun as it seems. Don't go trying this at home, now—whoa! You didn't have to throw stuff at me! You like your life; I get it! Hands off!

Okay, okay, so look. I lost track of the time I've been stuck here, okay? I only figured out how long it's been after I started talking to you, and believe me, just _talking to you_ was a surprise in and of itself. Even when other people came by, they never saw me—night or day—and I'd just start talking to them when they would be trying to use their cell phone in the wild, like 'hello?' 'Hi!' 'Fuck, where am I?' 'In the forest by The Organization.' 'Damn the car for getting stuck.' 'Well you're probably just a shitty driver.' Things like that.

And then when I started being able to touch things, I started playing pranks on people, like throwing shit at them, breaking twigs—I did that to you—OW. _Don't bring the bones into this, Roxas. _I am a _ghost_, and I _will haunt_ you, capiche? Good.

Where was I? Oh, right. When I suddenly popped up, er, down since I was hanging from the branch, I wasn't expecting you to see me, but since you didn't realize I was a ghost, I figured I'd play on it. And all I really wanted was someone to talk to. That's really all I wanted for a while.

But the more I saw you, the more I craved life and everything about it. It's so dull being like this. I can't eat; I can't explore; I can't even feel pain or sadness. The only things I really felt were happiness when you were with me, or when I was with you, since I was with you even when you couldn't see me. Well, more like _in _you, but you know that.

Anyway, somewhere along the line, I wanted something more—maybe not your life at first, but the idea was there.

The first time I took control of your body, I just wanted to be found. I didn't want my body to be down in this ditch forever. So I tried to find the area where I fell. I guess you were conscious for some of it. But the more I used your body, the more I just wanted to take it for myself. And suddenly, I was doing both—searching for myself and taking you over.

I don't know what I was doing, Rox."

Axel bent his head forward and covered the top with his arms, pressing his forehead against his knees. "I'm sorry."

Silence invaded the air, and for a while, all they heard were the rustling of leaves above them and the soft gusts of warm, humid breezes. They sat there for hours, not quite awkwardly, but not quite comfortably.

And when Roxas finally decided that it was time for them to move on past the 'I'm sorry's and the 'I forgive you's, he turned his head toward Axel and smirked, "So, did you hear me when I said I loved you?"

Axel's hand twitched above his knee and a smile pervaded his otherwise tired features.

xxx

Roxas came to when he heard his name echoing inside the trench. Immediately, the blonde rose from his sitting position and began to yell out, crying for help and throwing stones to the top of the hollow. He didn't know how long he was holding his breath, but he suddenly let out a suspended exhale once a familiar face looked down at him from the top.

Aqua's bright blue eyes were wide with happiness and surprise. Without missing a beat she started calling for others and waving them to her direction. She was the first to help Roxas up and out of the trench, guiding him back.

It had been two days since he'd gone missing in the night, he was told, but Aqua wouldn't let his disappearance go. She kept pushing for a search in the forest, and when the first day had been fruitless, she and everybody else were surprised when Aqua's bird—or Skye—came flying in with Roxas's bag that had fallen during his tumble.

The bird then led them to Roxas.

_Looks like I owe that bird two favors now_, Roxas thought, not in the least bit disturbed. By this point, nothing bothered him. Only amused him.

"I know you just got back, Roxas," Aqua began as she sat Roxas down in her cabin, "but there are some things I want to show you before everything gets more hectic. I've only told Saix about it so far, and he hasn't told anyone either, but I just—I want to talk to you. Is that okay?" Her voice was soft, so soft that it was like she was afraid to break him if she spoke any louder.

Roxas nodded. He had food at least—at _last_—so it didn't matter to him.

The blue-haired woman sat across from him and pulled out two folders, much like how she usually did, and pulled out a stack of papers from one of the folders. She set one down, such that Roxas could read what was written on it, and placed the consecutive ones right next to it in the exact same way.

"These are the surveys I had you fill out, Roxas," Aqua pointed at the first one in particular, and when she made eye contact with Roxas, she dragged her finger across the table to the last one, "Do you see something peculiar about them?"

He did.

It didn't take much to figure out what she was getting at. In all honesty, the collection of papers reminded him of his scavenger hunt with his chickenscratch scribbles and Axel's elegant checkmarks.

"The writing." He pointed out as he shoveled some of his food into his mouth.

Aqua smiled, pleased to hear the terse reply. "That's right. Now look at this one," she pointed to the very last one, "and this one." She pried a single sheet of paper out from the other folder and set it right beside the last survey. "Do you see something between these two?"

Roxas stared at the names—Roxas and Axel—and almost laughed aloud at how similarly they had been written.

"No difference." He gave his head a slight tilt as he said it, almost unable to refrain from showing his amusement.

She nodded again, chuckling softly because she understood why Roxas's eyes glittered as he answered. "Exactly. Not just the handwriting, but the answers as well. You started to give rather _lengthy_ answers, Roxas, which is quite unlike you."

"I know." He nodded curtly.

And he saw that as he scanned the papers from the first to the last, there was an increasing amount of text until he got to the last one, which used up every bit of space available to write an answer. He didn't really even remember answering the last few surveys, and that was probably the whole point of this meeting.

"Good." Aqua now gathered up the papers and sorted them. His first few surveys were placed back in his folder, and Axel's single sheet into his, but the last of Roxas's surveys were set aside, nowhere near his folder.

He cocked up a brow questioningly.

Blue eyes met with blue-green and Aqua simply smiled, placing a finger to her lips.

"Now, I'm going to ask you a few questions." She took a fresh sheet of paper from a table nearby and placed it on a folder, then on her lap together. She clicked her pen. "What's your name?"

"Roxas Strife." She scribbled something on the paper.

"And how do you feel today, Roxas?"

"Starved."

A smile started to grow on her lips. "Where do you live?"

"Midgar." Another happy scribble onto the paper.

"Have you always lived there or did you move?"

"Always."

Aqua nodded in agreement. "Yes, now, how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"We're almost done. Siblings?"

"One brother."

A full fledged smile now graced Aqua's face. "Perfect! And last question—what's sea salt ice cream? And have you had it before?"

Roxas's hand twitched as he tried to scoop up a piece of his food with his fork. He could remember Axel's memories, he could see the sunset, the clocktower, the small town Axel had called home. "It's ice cream." Roxas deadpanned. "I've had it once when I was a child and again here."

Aqua gave him an approving nod and put the paper into Roxas's folder. She laced her fingers over her lap and said, "Alright, Roxas. That's all I needed you for. You can go back out and meet your peers."

"Thanks." Roxas muttered before getting up to leave.

Just as he reached for the doorknob, Aqua's voice reached him. It was a pitch higher than normal, nervous, almost afraid. "Is he happy now?"

Roxas stopped at the doorway and turned around. He could see the guilt written all over her face and he felt sorry for her. So Roxas did the only good thing he learned from Axel, and grinned at her. That same goofy grin he gave when he was incredibly amused and unbelievably thankful.

"Yeah. He's okay."

xxx

_"Hey, do me a favor?"_

_"No."_

_"Rox, please?"_

_"What is it?"_

_"Dig into my pants."_

_The look Roxas gave Axel at that moment beat any look of incredulity he'd ever seen before. He just stared at the redhead with the expression saying 'are you trying to hit on me? Because now is not the time.'_

_The redhead immediately brought his hands up in defense and laughed, "No, no! I meant, grab my wallet in my pant pocket! There's something I want you to get. There's a letter—s'for my ma. There was a workshop and—well, y'know."_

_Roxas did as he was told and pulled out the teen's wallet. He examined the contents, snorting at Axel's driver's license photo. He had obviously gotten it before he hit puberty because the face was all rounded out, full cheeks, big eyes and shorter hair. _

_"Shut up! I'm sensitive about that picture!" Axel cried in mock-embarrassment._

_"Then why didn't you renew it?" Roxas laughed as he searched the inner flaps._

_Axel chuckled and gave him a grin. "Just kidding. I totally love that picture. Aren't I adorable?"_

_"Like a teddy bear." The blonde mused with a roll of his eyes. Actually, he agreed. If it weren't the dead boy's only piece of identification, he would have stolen it just to have the picture. "Ah," Roxas paused as his fingers brushed past a piece of folded pink stationary hidden between old receipts and bills, "this it?"_

_"That's the one!" Axel chirped as he leaned toward Roxas. "Get that to her for me, will ya? The address is inside."_

_Roxas nodded and carefully put the letter into his pocket. "Hey," he said as Axel sat back into his old position, "do you think it'd be creepy if I asked for a baby picture of you in exchange for the letter?"_

_Axel burst out laughing, tears streaming down his cheeks as he pounded the ground with his fist. His left arm was wrapped around his torso, struggling to keep himself in check. If Roxas didn't blink, he'd even see Axel flicker on and off as he rolled around laughing._

_"No, man, not at all! You should totally ask her!"_

xxx

The return trip home was as uneventful and tireless as the first. The Organization, as Roxas had picked up from Axel, liked to do things in the dead of night; going to and from camp being one of them. And so with little sleep and a caffeine high, the blonde stumbled out of the unnatural—Roxas swore that was the real paranormal existence in the camp—pink bus and onto his street.

The sun was only just peeking out of the horizon as Roxas scrambled up his driveway and practically rammed himself into his front door. Pressing the doorbell with his finger proved to be too challenging for him in his death state, so he yielded to slamming his palm in the general vicinity of the front doorbell until he heard a _click_ and a chime from the other side of the door.

As he waited for the door to open and fall into his brother's welcoming arms, Roxas looked back out into the darkened street, and instead of seeing the comforts of his childhood, he saw the little glimmer of the forest from their hole in the ground and a tall, handsome redhead standing in front of him.

_"Say, maybe you can see me because we were meant to meet, Rox." It was just another one of Axel's little random ramblings that he liked to do when things got too quiet or he got too bored._

_"What do you mean?" The blonde only entertained him with questions so that Axel could keep talking._

_"Like, what if we met in a previous life?" Axel seemed to get giddy at the mention of it. "And we just __had__ to see each other again, y'know?"_

_"Then why can I only see you at night?" Roxas was beginning to get interested only because the other boy was suddenly shuffling incessantly, usually meaning that Axel was too excited to contain himself with just words._

_"Because!" Axel paused and pressed his fingers to his lips, deep in thought, but still very happy about the idea. "Because we only met at night!"_

_"Like secret lovers?" Roxas couldn't help but laugh at the notion._

_"Yeah! Or like, we only ever saw each other in darkness, y'know?" Axel suggested thoughtfully. "You've heard myths and folk stories like that. What if we weren't human in a past life and like, we only existed in the dark? Under the moon?"_

_Roxas smiled when he saw Axel's eyes glaze over in wonder. "Maybe. Couldn't get it the first or the second time, so maybe the third?"_

_The suggestion brought a frown to Axel's face. "Oh, right. I'm dead." However, just as quickly as his hopes had died, they rekindled once more. "Third time's the charm then! We'll meet again! In the next life."_

_"Wait for me." Roxas closed his eyes then, smiling as he felt a cold wind pass by his cheek. He didn't need to see it to know that Axel brushed his fingers against the boy's face._

_"Of course, Rox."_

Axel was gone in the morning, as usual, but Roxas was out of the forest, and any hope of seeing him now was slim. He would deliver the letter to Axel's mother, try his luck for a picture of the other boy—an album if she was generous—and carry Axel's memory with him forever.

And so when he fell into Sora's arms, because he never pried himself off the door, Roxas smiled and told himself that their last meeting wasn't the last, that it wasn't _goodbye_—it was a promise.

"Welcome back, Roxas!" Sora grinned despite his half-asleep state. The brunette gave the blonde a tight hug and refused to let him go, but there wasn't a struggle in the blonde to begin with. They stood by that doorway for a while, simply enjoying each other's company until the sound of an alarm clock upstairs alerted them. For the rest of the occupants in the house, the day was only just beginning.

Roxas set his stuff down beside him and closed the front door. He looked up in time to see his parents walking down the stairs, and he gave them a wave.

"I'm home."

xxx

**A lifetime and 20 years later**

The lock to dorm room #138 clicked open as a tall redhead trudged into the room heaving a duffel bag on one shoulder, a box of textbooks on the other and a doughnut in his mouth. At the same time, on the other side of the door, a nervous and rather jumpy blonde was headed to the doorway. It was at that moment that the two met face-to-face for the first time. One looked beyond bewildered and more frightened while the other looked highly amused.

"Hi there!" The redhead greeted as he walked past the shorter boy toward an empty bed. "The name's Axel! I'll be your new roomie!" After quickly pulling the doughnut out of his mouth with his left hand, Axel offered his right for a handshake.

"Uhm, Roxas." Replied the blonde as he reached for his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Axel smiled. "Well it looks like you're heading out, so I won't keep you."

Roxas nodded and muttered a small thanks before scurrying toward the door. But just as he reached the doorframe, Roxas whirled around. He had been anxious the whole day, but couldn't understand why. It wasn't the first time he would have a stranger for a roommate nor was he even the type to be easily stirred. He rather prided himself in his chill personality.

"Have we met before?"

Both boys turned around, each having just asked the same question. They stared at each other for a moment in surprise.

"Well, if we both think so, then we probably have right?" Axel asked with a laugh. He raked a hand through his hair and chuckled. "So let's just say we've met before and pick up where we left off. What do you say?"

Roxas chuckled at the other's easygoing nature. "Yeah, let's do that."

_The End._


End file.
